In my life, pretty much ALL my concerns and hopes and expectations of how someone else might behave, have got me in a pickle - being sure I know 'what others need to let go of' is usually a self-destructive minefield of powerlessness and disappointment - I do better to meet that wrenching exasperation in the body and dissolve it where it really is lodged. Whoever else is involved in the most recent drama of reactivity and upset - the events and characters that triggered all these reactions in us are most likely never going to fall in line and be helpful, only our own inner presence and attention to how we feel in it. The reactivity that erupts is feelable - and with total willingness it can dissolve, if we take space from ‘what just happened' for a bit, park the events and who did what for a second, and turn our attention and fascination towards what’s erupting or contracting in our body. This is a Taoist model where they deliberately, daily, dissolve all edgy, blocked, tight, or numb feelings by feeling it to it’s fullest willingly, fascinatedly, and when we apply it to big 'let-go's' we can reclaim all the energy that's knotted up and transform it into illumination and self care.
It’s the difference between allowing Life’s unexpected challenges and difficult people to collapse us and send us into disempowerment OR use what’s going on to access and dissolve deep buried traumatised reactivity that lives in us and then harvest it's treasure. Empowered.
We can’t often control what happens but we can, at least, with practice, control that choice at the crossroads. This is where we can participate in our own liberation.
It’s hardcore self-activism.
Being ‘right’ is the biggest trap to distract us from this.